The year 2011 for me was oone of the worst years of my life. I've been through many struggles in my life. My parents divorced when i was five. i still remember the physical fighting and the sadness of a broken family. In my early twenties i went through the sadness of drug addiction, which landed me in prison. in my early thirties I endured being sidelined by a broken kneck, leading to anxiety and depression. all of these experiences were very difficult. However, in 2011 I had my worst experience yet.
For the first 7 years of my christian life i worked hard to become a full time servant of the gospel. I worked full time, went to school part time, did ministry part time, while raising a family. Those years were very hard, but I did well in school, ministry had always been fruitful, and my family was well takin care of. In 2002 I finally became a pastor and experienced some really great things. In 2007, I finally planted 777 church and all the hard work began to pay off.
Many people came to faith in christ. most of them unchurched. I've always had a passion to see God build a church upon new converts, rather than recycling unhappy christians from other churches. The experience was great! New believers transformed and growing in relationship with Christ and his family.
in 2010 my marraige began falling apart. I did everything possible to hold it together. From couseling, to stepping back more from ministry, to compromising some of my own convictions. But, in the end it was out of my control and the marraige ended in 2011.
The bummer is, I built my whole world upon the hope of the church. I opted out of social security under the assumption that if anything ever happend to me the church would provide. I was inelligable for unemployment, had no job and ended up losing everything. My home, my church community, my career as a pastor, my wife, my kids, my credit; and it seemed like everyone i loved deeply abandoned me.
Ironically in my despare the ones who came to my rescue were those in the world. I was given 20000 to start a tattoo business, but because i was so messed up i couldn't pull it off. I was then given a job laboring construction, by an m.c. president of the vagos. These people have not yet commited to christ, but they seem to get it more than those who can say, "bless you my sanctified brother". Was God trying to show me something? Has the love of the church grown cold? Did God just abandon me too? Of course not! Thats another day, another post or another book.
All that to say 2011 was hard. As the dust began to settle, I started seeing the hand of God working in the midths. Slowly but surely, everything I'd lost was being restored in more prestine condition. I'm now remarried to a wonderful women, i have an amazing place to live, a new baby on the way, An awesome new church family, a revised mission from God and I'm working on getting to spend half of the time with my kids.
I'm so amazed at Gods grace! He's taken me to another level of understanding and for that I'm thankful. The Apostle Paul said:
(phil.4:12-13), "I know how to be abased and know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things i have learned both to be full and to be hungry both to abound and to suffer need. i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
I'm definately not there yet, but much closer than I've ever been and it's a great feeling.
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