Triple 7 soul

The joy of Anxiety

Life can be scary at times.  When you least expect it, your whole world can crumble.  Just when you think you've found your comfort zone, BOOM!  another let down or change of plans seems to drive a wedge in the little patch of comfort you thought you had.

The reality is, this side of heaven, we'll never reach a point in life were we're completely comfortable.  Life is not certain.  Jesus said, "in this world you will have trouble", and the more we fight to maintain comfort, control and certainty, the worse it is.

Within the last few years I've experienced what doctors now call generalized anxiety disorder.  Basically, "I'm sick in the head".  apparently through the years i've developed some bad patterns of thinking.  I involuntarily find myself using terms like, "what if", or "i sure hope not".  This kind of thinking is not only contrary to my christian life, but detrimental to my health and good will. 

I must of picked up this desease thinking along the way of growing up.  I have to be honest, its one of the worst feelings in the world to become overwhelmed with anxiety.  I can hardly describe the feelings.  if you have ever gotten lost in the mall as a child you know the feeling.  You began to feel as if you're outside of reality, your heart is racing, cold sweats, you feel as if at any moment you will loose control, die and/or go insane.  Not fun!

Ironically,  if you were to go see a Doctor he would tell you its all in your head and he's right.  Its amazing how your mind can completely alter your physical well being.  You literally feel sick.  there have been days were i can barely get out of bed I'm so jacked up.  The good news is that is very curable.  I can actually cure myself and I'm getting there.

The Bible says in philippians 4,

, "⁸ Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. ⁹ The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.

This verse has began to help heal and transform my thinking.  Its a daily battle, but I'm determined to allow God's word to transform my mind, for the scripture also says,

Romans 12

 ² And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

peace...

 

just a little patience pastor

Recently I've noticed how patient I'm becoming with people.  for example, a customer calls me saying, "I have a complaint!, You sold me lifetime brakes and there making noise!" Rather than telling the guy, "quite being hard on your brakes idiot!, its not our fault!"  I quietly said, "I'm sorry sir, we will look at it right away for you".  Amazing how his attitude changed.  Just like the proverb says, "a soft answer turns away wrath".  Have i been transformed? Cuz back in the day he would have got an ear full.

So I think to myself, wow your a pretty patient guy.  However, just when i think i've got this patience thing down,  i wake up in the morning and have to spend another day working on cars.  Uggghhh....

Years ago i left the brake and alignment industry to pursue my calling to do ministry.  For 7 years i worked hard to live my life for the gospel alone.  i worked 6 days a week, went to school part time, raised a family, and did ministry part time.  The day I became a pastor full time was one of the greatest moments of my life.  I didn't care what i had to go through, as long as i could spend my days living for the gospel.

For the next 7 years i devoted myself to serving God full time, while raising a family.  there were so many things to accomplish, so many places to go, so much to do.  I never thought in a million years i would ever go back to square one. 

Unfortunately that all changed the day my x wife filed for divorce.  No more spending hours studying the word, long nights in bible study, hospital visits, the many quit times with God, and most of all the freedom to go when God says go. 

Now its 10 hours a day, six days a week explaining to people why they need brakes and how much. I am thankful for a job, don't get me wrong, but i so miss serving Christ.  Oh i know the cliche thing to say is, "your a minister wherever you are"...huh, I'm sorry but that doesn't seem to help much.  The bible tells us, whatever you do, do it to the glory of God.  My boss probably wouldn't appreciate me evangelizing on his dollar, but of course i break the rules here and there. I am dedicated to my job, but my heart is somewhere else.  I just pray God will use me again to teach his word. 

I suppose this pot hole in the road that has me sidelined is meant to accomplish many things.  I am definitely learning to overcome anxiety and learning more about patience.  I Have been given a second chance for love.  My new wife is the most amazing women ever.  I know God will open the door again.  So many lives hang in the balance between heaven and hell.  It's torture not being able to spend my days fighting for the souls of salvation.  Hopefully soon......

2012

Anyone familiar with american culture knows that january 1st is a time for new resolutions.  whether it be losing weight, quiting a nasty habit, or simply making a commitment to move in a different direction, we all desire positive change.   

This year I have decided its time for me to write.  I' ve had so much drama in my life, it would be insanity for me to continue keeping all these emotions inside.  When i say insanity, I'm not figuratively speaking.  I feel at times I could literally go insane with some of the injustices and frustrations I've experienced in my life.  Ironically my wife would say, "your just being dramatic", hahaa, I really love her for that, because in some respects i know its true.  However, part of my frustration is not being able to overcome my dramatic thinking.  The truth is though, no matter how dramatic I may be, my frustrations and injustices are reality and i need to deal with them.

In the past 2 years i have experienced some of the greatest successes, while at the same time dealing with some 0f the worst failures.  I've also learned more about Jesus Christ within this time period then ever before. this next year i hope to share some of these experiences with you in hopes that, one, it will help to heal my heart, and two, it may resinate with someone else to help them in time of struggle. To God alone be the honor for his faithfulness.  I know His promises are true and He will complete the work that He started. 

just wanted to share some lyrics i wrote for a new song.... they are just emotions!!!! please don't freak out! I'm fine! Im not walking away...lol

The highway to walk away

Been left alone here in my room
crept deep inside of me a silent tune
shaking inside i bend the rules
So defiant, Can't deny it...fool

Belief ain't always something choosed
Something deep inside of me is crying too (Christ)
there's nothing simple i can do
Keep on crying- feels like dying

its the highway, the highway, to walk away..whoo oooh oooh

please never mention how to do...life
innocence is slowly dying... to
make a man deny his every truth
stop abiding... keep on trying

its the highway, the highway, to walk away

empty emotions i can prove
leave a man to feel a failed design and bruised
living a lie can get to you
start deciding, quit denying..... fool

Its the highway, the highway, to walk away...whoo ohh oohh

Removed from the friends list

  

Have you ever been removed from the friends list?  I have been removed so many times and every time the person has not had the decency to confront me or let me know why they do not want to be friends anymore.  Boy technology has made it so much easier to be spineless.

another attempt......

I'm making another attempt to blog.... ugghhhh!   I'm so undisciplined and lazy.... im over it!!!!

The Hangover (Tiger song)

Testing One two... Check one two

Its been so long since I used this blog....I'm trying to figure out how to use it again.

Change is hard

Wow.... I guess this old blog is still running. I honestly thought it had expired, but I guess not. Well, for those of you who still read it, thanks for stopping bye. I have to tell you that the last 3 months have been a living hell. However on the flip side, I am seeing a vision that God gave me 9 years ago coming to pass. The crazy thing is I had no idea the cost.

I have lost partners and friends that have been in my life for many years. I have allowed my reputation, as a man of God, to become suspect to people that I have invested years in. But what I realize is that God wants me to be completely dependant on him and not on my friends. I have spent many years developing friendships at the cost of my calling to be a Pastor Evangelist. I have learned that it is a selfish thing on my part to spend God's time on developing more and more friendships, while more and more people in our generation suffer from a lack of leadership and discipleship. It's time for me to focus on reaching and teaching our generation the truth of God. I'm sorry If I hurt anyones feelings, it's not personal. I truly do love all the people that God has allowed me to become friends with. I wish you the best and am comfident that God is leading you.

The bottom line is.... Change is hard. But the reality is without change, things stay the same. And unfortunatley I am not comfortable with the way things are right now and I'm willing to make the changes necesarry to attain the bigger picture. There are thousands upon thousands of people in need of Christ in the world and God has asked me to start with the ones I know best..... The knucklehead 19-45 year old party crowd....and San Bernardino is full of them. That is the heart beat of 777 church. There will be no compromise. We will learn to love each other and to know God. We will commit ourselves to the teaching of the word, the fellowship, breaking of bread, and prayer (acts 2:42) and will see God add to the church.

I want to thank anyone who has been part of 777. God has used your hard work and involvement to get us to this point. You are appreciated. I also want to thank Pastor willie dalgity "set free yucaipa" for sponsoring us, Don overstreet "sbc church planter" your 40 years of experience has been a light in our darkness, Pastor flo "new generation church, mo valley", for going through the same crap as me (: it's good to have someone who understands, Deryl Lackey "sbc missions director" the rock of wisdom and leadership in my life and financial support, Our whole financial board, those who are contributing financially, everyone who is continueing on in the battle at 777 church and special thanks to: Richard Bohlenius, Erin and Jason Karpenick and Rod and jen Merritt, more than friends... more than ministry partners. indiscribable relationship. We love you guys so much. and above all.... My family..... The Ultimate Pastor's wife "Kim O'Donnell" My best friend, lover, mother of my children, Ministry partner, life partner, most precious gift. My beautiful Children Steven, Allyssa, and jessica... you are the best kids any dad could ever ask for. Jesus Christ... Lord and Savior, I love you. Help me to take care of your things. peace.

777 childrens program

many people have questions about our Childrens program.... well, my kids came home last week telling me about shadrac, mishac, and abendigo. Do you know who they are? Below is the blog from Rod on our website 777 Church.com

What about my children?
Connecting Our Church By Rod Merritt on 4/28/2007 12:16 PM
What about a childrens program?

The answer is Yes. Your kid's are important. We have a fantastic childrens program.

Is it more than just babysitting and coloring books?

All of the senior pastors have children. They expect their kids and yours to be taught about Jesus every Sunday. We had 30 kids on Sunday and Renee Eblen did a fantastic job coordinating the volunteers and the lesson. Your kids will be taught about Jesus.

If you have any questions or concerns about the childrens program contact Renee Eblen